Starting off this module, I was unsure of which direction I wanted to go. With some life drawings, I knew I wanted to study about a human subject.
I felt quite isolated from the subject while drawing, which is clear in the pages. This is from the lack of faces in my art, it makes the viewer feel unseen.
Artist talk
Paul Davis
Paul Davis took his time to show and explain the backgrounds of his art works through a Teams call on the 23rd of March.
I really enjoyed his work since his backgrounds of his art works didn’t have to hold extreme meanings. He said he would overhear conversations, have opinions, thoughts and many other scenarios that he would turn into these illustrations. This inspired me with enthusiasm to draw whatever I like without having to have deep meanings.
My favourite piece was the windchimes with the text ‘PURE EVIL’ above it. All he said was that he doesn’t like wind chimes, then moved onto the next illustration.
To get my ideas going, I made a Pinterest board. Adding up new images, building up a clearer idea of what this will end up as.
Social Anxiety
On a walk into town at night, me and a friend tried to capture photograph in which we felt fit the theme of Isolation, from the feelings of social anxiety.
My favourite photograph from this collection, is the smiley face on the fence. This is because the only time you are seen in the collection of these photos is by an inanimate object.
To get a better understanding of social anxiety, I started to do research on what it really is.
What is Social Anxiety?
Social anxiety is a social phobia that can affect someone’s day to day life. It is a deep fear of acting embarrassing, incompetent or awkward.
Usually, people with this disorder commonly feel this way in situations of talking to strangers, meeting new people, speaking Infront of the public and consuming in front of others.
The physical side effects can include sweating, shaking, nausea, blushing and in some intense cases derealization.
It is different from shyness since shy people can often navigate social situations. But social anxiety is a mental health condition that can cause panic attacks, severely restricting a person’s life.
YouTube Video Research
Upon searching for a YouTube video, I found this video by ‘Osmosis from Elsevier’. It consisted of all the information you need to get a understanding of this mental disorder. My main focus on this video was about how you get social anxiety, the symptoms, and ways to treat it.
There are many different types of anxiety with many symptoms not everyone will have. The main two types of anxiety are Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Agoraphobia.
Agoraphobia is less about being judged but more about being trapped with no escape. Most people with this type of disorder tend to avoid public places. When Generalized Anxiety Disorder is more about being judged.
Some people with social anxiety often turn to alcohol and drugs to get better control of their anxiety but this can lead to addiction.
For treatment, you have two options or even both. Psychotherapy and medication.
Cognitive behavioural therapy is the most recommended psychotherapy, since it teaches a person new ways of thinking and behaviours to help being around others. This way of treatment has the most advantages long term, as medication can come with nasty side effects.
For medication, Antidepressants are the most common taken. There are also Benzo Diazepines and Beta-Blockers.
I found this video very useful, especially on the different types of social anxiety.
The second video by the channel ‘Newel of Knowledge’, addressed how he overcame his social anxiety after having it for many years.
He starts the video focusing on how you feel overwhelmed when socially anxious because everything you perceive becomes important.
Your worries outside mostly are on internal focus, such as how you are acting and if you are doing anything wrong, overanalysing everything.
He teaches us the sigh technique, it’s where you inhale twice but then exhale longer.
This process works since when you get anxious, your heartrate increases. Breathing this way significantly slow down your heartrate therefore making you feel calmer.
Setting an intention for where you are going/ what you are doing can pull a focus and help ignore the overwhelm of everything else around. These intentions can be anything. He gives us a few examples such as making 1 person feel comfortable, find 1 fun fact about someone, and have a conversation with someone about something they are interested in.
Telling people you feel anxious. Vulnerability is what happens before all the good stuff happens in life. If you are clearly anxious, not being afraid to tell them can help form a better understanding to one another.
I am glad I watched this video, it felt completely more real than the first one since it was a man using the process he uses when he feels this way.
Movie Research
The Perks of Being a Wallflower
Looking for another approach to learn more about social anxiety, I discovered the film ‘The Perks of Being a Wallflower’. This film followed a story about a teenager in his first year of high school going through social anxiety caused from his trauma caused by his aunt which is told throughout the story, causing his mental breakdowns and PTSD.
The story starts by Charlie (the main character), writing to someone he calls friend. He refers himself on the letter as the weird kid who spent time in the hospital. He said he hoped he wouldn’t make them nervous.
Through the story we receive many good quotes on the troubles of life and struggles of social anxiety.
My favourite quotes are:
“Are you sure it is okay if I came?” Charlie asked his friend, awkward about not being wanted at a party.
“I didn’t think anyone noticed me.” Once he took a drugged-up brownie, he started to relax and told his friend that his friend killed himself. This friend he told later made a toast at the party, appreciating Charlie. This friendship started to settle something in Charlie, we see an improvement in his mental state.
“I feel infinite” From my favourite scene in the entire movie. His two friends and him driving down a lit-up tunnel, one of them standing up on the truck looking free. This is the happiest we see Charlie.
“I wanted her to know, about that night we went through that tunnel, and how for the first time I felt like I belonged somewhere.” Writing in his letter to his friend once again.
“We accept the love we think we deserve.” His friend comes to him to ask why she always ends up with the bad guys. I like that he repeated the words his teacher told him, it shows that it resonated with him.
I think this movie was a great example of how mental health has ups and downs. It is also great for a better understanding of how trauma can affect someone for a lifetime.
Tracey Emin – Why I never became a Dancer
This short film followed the story of Tracey Emin’s hard youth life as a 14- to 15-year-old. Her troubles with older men taking advantage of her. When she stopped seeing the older men, she began to dance, this gave her a sense of freedom. Until at a dance recital, a bunch of the men she previously has sexual relations with started chanting “Slag”, she ran away.
Until the end of the film, she is older. She starts to dance and said this is for them.
A good example of not changing nor feeling shame about yourself for anyone.
Anna Joy Sullivan 